Matesprits

▼: IF IT IS ANOTHER ERIDAN I WILL SKIN MYSELF ALIVE.
▲: H3 H3 H3
▲: 1'M MUCH B3TT3R TH4N 3R1D4N
▼: NOT SURE IF THIS IS WORSE.
▲: >:
▼: SO YOU SAY.
▲: TH4T'S NOT V3RY N1C3, K4RKL3S.
▼: BUT EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TIME I TALK TO YOU YOU PUT ME IN A HEADLOCK UNTIL I CHANGE MY TEXT TO CHERRY RED.
▲: BUT R3D 1S SUCH 4 D3L1C1OUS COLOR! F4R B3TT3R TH4N TH4T DULL GR3Y.
▼: FUCK YOU GRAY IS FUCKING AMAZING.
▲: NOT 4S 4M4Z1NG 4S R3D!
▼: YOU'RE RIGHT.
▼: GRAY IS EVEN MORE AMAZING.
▼: IT IS THE MOST BRILLIANT COLOR, SURPASSING ALL THE OTHERS IN ITS DRAB, NEUTRAL GLORY.
▲: F4LS3 4CCUS4T1ON!
▼: OBJECTION.
▼: I HAVE EVIDENCE FROM A CERTAIN THRESHECTUTIONER BACKING UP MY CLAIM.
▲: 4ND WHO WOULD TH4T B3? >:
▼: HE WISHED TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS FROM CERTAIN VINDICTIVE LEGISLACERATORS.
▲: T3LL M3, K4RKL3S.
▼: NO.
▲: Y3S >:[
▼: FUCK YOU, NO.
▼: MAINLY BECAUSE I THINK THAT ANCESTOR THING IS BULLSHIT.
▲: 4NC3STOR?
▼: BUT IN THE SPIRIT OF ONE-UPMANSHIP I AM OVERLOOKING THAT.
▲: W41T WH4T W4S TH4T 4BOUT 4NC3STORS?
▼: I AM FUCKING IMPLYING I SPOKE TO WHAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN MY ANCESTOR.
▲: WH4T??
▲: HOW D1D YOU DO TH4T?
▼: YEAH THIS CLIENT IS WEIRD.
▼: I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO PCG AND THEN THIS GUY CAME UP.
▼: CALLED THE SUFFERER.
▲: WH4T D1D H3 T3LL YOU?
▼: BLAH BLAH I'M A REDBLOOD TOO, BLAH BLAH EX-THRESHECUTIONER TURNED REBEL BLAH BLAH BLAH TWO MATESPRITS, GREY IS AWESOME, BLAH BLAH.
▼: ALSO HIS REBELLION FAILED.
▲: TWO M4T3SPR1TS? WHO?
▼: NEOPHYTE REDGLARE AND A TROLL WHO WENT BY BLOODMAW.
▼: I FIGURE THE LATTER WAS NEPETA'S.
▼: AND WE BOTH KNOW THE FORMER.
▲: R3DGL4R3? BUT TH4T'S MY FL4RP1NG N4M3...
▲: TH4T'S W31RD >:
▼: APPARENTLY SHE WAS A JUSTICE OBSESSED, RED LOVING BLIND LEGISLACERATOR, WHO RODE AROUNG ON A DRAGON NAMED PYRALSPITE.
▼: WHO SHOT FIRE AND SHIT.
▲: W3LL TH4T SOUNDS PR3TTY 4W3SOM3
▲: B3TT3R TH4N YOUR 4NC3STOR SOUNDS.
▼: FUCK YOU MY ANCESTOR WAS AWESOME.
▼: AND DIDN'T DIE OF BEING RETARDED ENOUGH TO BRING VRISKA'S ANCESTOR TO A COURTBLOCK.
▼: WHERE SHE COULD BE KILLED BY THE AUDIENCE MIND-CONTROLLING THE LOW-BLOODED CROWD.
▲: Y3S, 1'M SUR3 M1ST3R "F41L3D R3B3LL1ON" W4S 4M4Z1NG
▼: WITH HER OWN GODDAMN NOOSE.
▲: 4ND NOW YOU'R3 OBV1OUSLY M4K1NG TH1NGS UP
▼: FUCK YOU DEALING WITH ALL THE HIGHBLOODS IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS.
▼: AND NO I AM FUCKING NOT.
▲: TH3R3'S NO W4Y VR1SK4 COULD B34T M3
▼: SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO, SHE GOT OTHERS TO BEAT HER, AND WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU.
▼: BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT, RIGHT?
▲: OBV1OUSLY >:
▼: YOU BETTER, I'D RATHER HAVE YOU NOT DEAD.
▲: 1'D R4TH3R H4V3 M3 NOT D34D TOO.
▼: ALSO THE POINT STILL HOLDS THAT THE GRAY TEXT IS STAYING.
▲: D4RN 1T K4RKL3S!
▲: BUT 1T'S SO GOOD!
▼: GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON, AND RED TEXT IS GOOD DOESN'T COUNT, AS TO WHY I SHOULD.
▲: B3C4US3 1F YOUR 4NC3STOR LOV3D M3, TH3N YOU PROBABLY LOV3 M3 TOO 4ND W1LL DO WH4T 1 W4NT.
▲: >:]
▼: ...

(here Karkat switched to red text)

▼: FUCK YOU PYROPE, FUCK YOU AND YOUR ANCESTOR BULLSHIT LOGIC.
▲: Y3SSSSS
▲: R333333D
▲: <3
▼: <3
▲: YOU R34LLY SHOULD US3 R3D MOR3 OFT3N, K4RKL3S.
▼: I'M JUST DOING IT THIS ONE TIME FOR YOU, AND THAT IS FUCKING IT.
▲: 4W
▲: TH4T'S NO FUN
▼: WELL IF THIS ISN'T FUN FOR YOU...

(and back to gray)

▼: THEN GRAY IT IS.
▲: NOOOOO!
▲: K4RKL3S, GR4Y 1S SO BOR1NG!
▼: WELL GREAT TO KNOW YOU THINK MY COLOR IS BORING.
▲: BUT 1T 1S!
▲: 1T'S NOT N34RLY 4S D3L1C1OUS 4S TH4T R3D W4S.
▼: AND I THINK RED IS A HORRIBLY BRIGHT-ASS COLOR, AND THAT TEAL IS PRETTY BORING. IT IS JUST SO AVERAGE.
▲: 4T L34ST 1'M 4CTU4LLY US1NG MY BLOOD COLOR >:
▼: FUCK IF I CARE.
▲: COM3 OOOOOON
▼: FUCK NOOOOOO.
▲: K4RKL3S, YOU 4R3 B31NG L4M3 4G41N
▼: TEREZI, YOU'RE ALWAYS BEING ANNOYING BUT I DON'T POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS.
▲: 1'M NOT 4NNOY1NG! 1'M H3LPFUL!
▼: THOSE TWO ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.
▼: THOUGH YOU AREN'T BEING EHLPFUL.
▼: ME TYPING IN RED ONLY HELPS YOU.
▼: NAMELY BECAUSE YOU GET OFF OF THAT SHIT.
▲: F1N3
▲: 1'LL TYP3 1N 4NOTH3R COLOR 1F YOU'LL TYP3 1N R3D 4G41N!

(And red again)

▼: NOW I GUESS WE'LL SEE WHICH ONE YOU PICK.
▲: H3 H3 H3 >:]

(Yes, now Terezi's typing in red too)

▼: GODDAMNIT. WELL PLAYED TEREZI.
▲: NOW W3 C4N F1LL TH3 WHOL3 P4G3 W1TH R3D
▲: 4ND 1T W1LL B3 D3L1C1OUS
▼: TEREZI, WE SIT RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE COMPUTER ROOM. SO I CAN SEE YOU LICKING THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SCREEN.
▲: 1T'S SO D3L1C1OUSSSSS
▲: 1 C4N'T H3LP MYS3LF
▼: IT IS DISTURBING TO SEE YOU GETTING OFF OF MY BLOOD COLOR.
▼: AND IN NO WAY ATTRACTIVE SO DON'T EVEN FUCKING THINK THAT.
▲: MMMMMMMM
▲: 1 R34LLY DON'T UND3RST4ND WHY YOU H4T3 YOUR BLOOD COLOR SO MUCH, K4RKL3S.
▼: BECAUSE IT IS...NOT MEANT TO EXIST.
▼: IT'S AN BLEMISH TO THE ENTIRE GODDAMN UNIVERSE.
▼: A*
▲: 1 TH1NK TH3 WORLD WOULD B3 S4D W1THOUT 1T
▼: WELL THAT MAKES ONE TROLL WHO THINKS THAT.
▲: 1T SHOULD B3 4T L34ST TWO >:
▲: YOU SHOULD B3 PROUD OF YOUR BLOOD COLOR!
▼: WHY? BECAUSE BLIND TROLLS STAIN THEIR PANTIES OFF OF IT?
▲: WH4T?
▼: IT'S AN INSULT, JACKASS.
▼: MAINLY BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT SO GODDAMN MUCH.
▼: AND OBSESS OVER HOW "D3L1C1OUS" IT IS.
▲: 1T 1S!
▼: I DOUBT THAT.
▲: WHY?
▼: MAINLY BECAUSE I DON'T SMELL OR TASTE IT THE WAY YOU DO.
▼: SO TO ME IT JUST TASTES LIKE BLOOD.
▲: YOU JUST DON'T P4Y 4TT3NT1ON TO YOUR S3NS3S W3LL 3NOUGH
▼: TEREZI I'M FINE WITH MY SIGHT AND OTHER SENSE BEING THE WAY THEY ARE.
▼: AND HOLY FUCK THE ENTIRE PAGE IS SPLATTERED IN RED.
▲: 1 KNOW! 1SN'T 1T D3L1C1OUS?
▲: 1 C4N'T STOP L1CK1NG TH3 SCR33N
▼: I CAN SEE THAT.
▲: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM
▲: TRY 1T, K4RKL3S
▲: YOU M1GHT F1ND YOU L1K3 1T TOO!
▼: YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT?
▲: WHY WOULD 1 JOK3?
▼: FUCK IF I KNOW. BUT FINE I'LL DO IT.
▼: ...
▲: H3 H3 H3 >:]
▼: IT TASTES LIKE COMPUTER SCREEN.
▲: DR4T
▲: YOU N33D L3SSONS
▼: NO SHIT CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.
▲: SH4LL 1 T34CH YOU?
▼: I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE I'LL REGRET THIS. BUT SURE.
▲: Y4Y!
▲: OK, F1RST YOU N33D TO B3 4BL3 TO FOCUS YOUR S3NS3S ONTO ON3 4T 4 T1M3
▲: YOU C4N DO TH4T MUCH, R1GHT?
▼: YEAH YEAH.
▼: SO NOW WHAT.
▲: SO CONC3NTR4T3 1T ON T4ST3 4ND BL3ND YOUR S3NS3 OF S1GHT W1TH 1T! 34SY, R1GHT?
▼: HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'M DOING IT RIGHT?
▲: BY L1CK1NG SOM3TH1NG!
▼: ...
▼: HOLY FUCK THAT'S WEIRD.
▲: YOU D1D 1T?
▼: I THINK SO.
▼: RED TASTES OKAY, I GUESS. NOTHING TO SPECIAL.
▼: TOO*
▲: WH4T? BUT 1T'S SO D3L1CI1OUS!
▲: HOW C4N 1T POSS1BLY NOT B3 YOUR F4VOR1T3?
▼: HEY TEREZI CAN YOU TYPE IN TEAL FOR A BIT?

(Terezi switches to teal)

▲: OK?
▼: YESSSSSSSS.
▲: >
▼: FUCK...THAT...JUST...TEREZI HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE YOUR COLOR?
▼: IT TASTES SO GOOD.
▲: R34LLY?
▲: HUH
▼: WELL AT LEAST NOW I GET YOUR THING WITH RED.
▲: R3D 1S 4M4Z1NG
▲: H3 H3 H3, 1 S33 YOU K33P L1CK1NG TH3 SCR33N OV3R TH3R3 >:]
▼: SHUT UP, YOU DO THE SAME WITH RED.
▲: 1 JUST C4N'T H3LP 1T!
▼: WELL APPARENTLY NEITHER OF US CAN RESIST THE OTHER'S BLOOD COLOR.
▼: THIS IS GOING TO END WELL.
▲: 1 C4N S33 WHY OUR 4NC3STORS W3R3 M4T3SPR1TS!
▼: THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE.
▲: SO 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO K33P US1NG D3L1C1OUS R3D FOR YOUR T3XT FROM NOW ON?
▼: ONLY IF YOU KEEP ON USING TEAL.
▲: 1 W1LL >:]
▼: THEN SO WILL I. <3
▲: <3
▼: OKAY I SERIOUSLY NEED TO STOP LICKING THE SCREEN.
▲: H3 H3 H3
▲: 1T'S LOOK1NG 4 B1T W3T OV3R TH3R3!
▼: COMPARED TO MINE YOURS IS AN OCEAN.
▲: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4
▲: TH4T'S B3C4US3 1'V3 B33N L1CK1NG 1T LONG3R TH4N YOU
▲: ONC3 YOU ST4RT, YOU JUST C4N'T STOP, R1GHT?
▼: TEREZI, ITS DOING HORRIBLE, DEPRAVED THINGS TO ME, SO NO I CAN'T FUCKING STOP.
▲: YOU KNOW YOU LOV3 1T
▼: I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T.
▲: YOU C4N SM3LL COLORS TOO, YOU KNOW
▲: 1T'S TH3 S4M3 K1ND OF TH1NG
▼: WHAT HAPPENS IF I DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME?
▲: 1 DON'T KNOW, 4CTU4LLY
▲: 1'V3 N3V3R TR13D TH4T >:
▲: 1T'D PROB4BLY B3 R34LLY POW3RFUL, THOUGH
▲: B3 C4R3FUL...
▼: I CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW AMAZING THAT WAS.
▼: I LOVE YOU AND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
▲: S33 TH1S 1S WHY 1 DON'T M1ND B31NG BL1ND >:]
▼: WELL NOW I'M JUST SURPRISED YOU HAVEN'T BLED ME OUT YET.
▲: 1T'S T3MPT1NG...
▲: BUT TH3N YOU WOULDN'T B3 4BL3 TO M4K3 4NY MOR3 D3L1C1OUS C4NDY R3D BLOOD!
▼: WELL YOU ALWAYS COULD JUST BITE ME AND LET ME BLEED A LITTLE, BUT DON'T FUCKING DO THAT.
▼: EVER.
▲: 4W >:
▼: WELL THERE IS ONE CONDITION...
▲: Y3333S?
▼: YOU LET ME DO IT TO YOU TOO.
▲: ......M4YB3
▼: WELL IN THE MEANTIME I'LL SIT HERE WITH ALL OF THIS CANDY RED BLOOD.
▲: 1 C4N ST1LL SM3LL 1T FROM H343 >:]
▲: *H3R3
▼: TOO BAD YOU CAN'T TASTE IT.
▲: GRRRR
▲: NOW YOU'R3 JUST T4UNT1NG M3
▼: IT'S JUST AS BAD FOR, ME I CAN SMELL ALL THAT TEAL INSIDE YOU, BUT I CAN'T FUCKING TASTE IT.
▲: W3LL
▲: WH4T NOW TH3N?
▼: THE OFFER ABOVE STILL STANDS.
▲: SH4LL W3 GO F1ND 4 PR1V4T3 ROOM, TH3N?
▼: WHICH ONE?
▲: YOURS OR M1N3, T4K3 YOUR P1CK >:]
▼: YOU HAVE THE SCALEMATE PILE, SO THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING.
▲: SH4LL 1...BR1NG 4 BUCK3T?
▼: DON'T WORRY, I'VE GOT THAT COVERED.
▲: OH HO!
▲: SH4LL W3 B3 OFF, TH3N?
▼: INDEED WE SHALL
▲: TH3N 1'LL LOG OFF >:]
▼: SAME HERE.